Rev. George Miller
August 28, 2022
Tobit 8:1-15
Before our last big hurricane, Rev. Manierre shared some great advice-
stick to your daily rituals as much as you can.
As an ordained minister who works for the Red Cross, Rev. Manierre is a
treasure trove of information on how to respond to and live through trauma.
Her advice made sure that when the hurricane hit and electricity was off
for 4 days, I found a way to cope.
Still started each morning with the paper and coffee, even if it was
cold. Still spent Wednesday writing the
sermon even as I was sweating.
Still fed the cats a can of tuna when the sermon was done and I took a
nap.
Not only did it bring calm to me, but to the cats who were used to the routine;
sticking to is said to them ‘You’re safe.’
Rev. Manierre’s advice about routine has been shared with so many others.
For those who have received an unwelcome diagnosis or watching a loved
one suffer, for those who come down to assist a family member, or anyone living
in “in-between time.”
Waiting is one of the worst experiences; ritual is one way to really cope
with that anxiety.
My life since July has been 8 weeks of waiting. Waiting for a check that was 3 weeks
late. 2 weeks of jury duty where each
day I had to wait until 5:30 pm to find out if I needed to show up.
2 days of sleep study. Submitting
a grant for next year’s sabbatical and waiting to hear back.
Then the biggest waiting- having my home tented for termites. What worried me was thinking “How do I grab 2 fast cats, get them in a crate
and then 3 days later do it again?”
Fortunately, I was staying at the Air BB next to my home, so I only had
to travel a few feet, but the truth is…
...anytime you have to bag up your stuff, pack up your pets, gather your
valuables and leave, you are displaced.
20 feet, 2 miles, 2 states, makes no matter- your home is your home, and
when you’re not there…
…when you CAN’T be there, it is hard, it is heartbreaking, and it hurts.
So after a day of being down, I did exactly what Rev. Manierre taught-
stuck to rituals:
-paper and coffee in the morning
-gym on Tuesday
-sermon on Wednesday.
By the 2nd day the cats were no longer hiding under the bed. By sermon time, they were soundly asleep, with
images of canned tuna in their head.
Not home…but at least some peace.
This is an underlying theme of TOBIT- how to be home when you are no
longer in Kansas, and how to live as if you are in the Promised Land even if
you know you’ll never see it again.
Last week we had a fun time with Tobit and his Archie Bunker ways.
We watched as Anna turned traditional conventions on its head, unapologetic
for being great at what she does.
We celebrated women who broke from political oppression and used technicolor
to challenge injustice.
Today’s message focuses on the somber reality of where this fairy-tale story
takes place.
Once upon a time, Tobit and his people were kidnapped and taken far away. The Northern part of Israel had split from
the rest of the nation and was oh so vulnerable. Assyria swooped in, killing, plundering,
taking folk away from the land God had promised them.
Tobit portrays himself as someone sooo righteous. He prayed the right way, tithed the right amount,
paid the right wages, ate the right foods, observed the right religious holidays.
Right, right, right. It can sound
so sickening and self-congratulatory.
But then we step back and think-maybe doing the right things the right
way was the only way Tobit knew how to survive.
Maybe doing the right things the right way was the only way Tobit knew
how to keep his memories alive.
Everything Tobit knew about God, everything he knew about being a faithful
Jew was taught to him by his mother Deborah.
But Deborah died when he was still a child, so she’s barely a memory.
Everything Tobit knew about
praising God involved going to the Temple during high holy days with offerings.
He boasts of all the giving he gave, all the people he helped: all the
orphans and widows and hungry.
When they are attacked and taken away, Tobit has no family home, he is
unable to honor the family tradition of going to the Temple.
Tobit also knows he will never, ever, go back HOME again.
Maybe that’s why he’s so hyper-righteous.
Maybe that’s why he did sooo much and boasted about it.
Maybe he was coping with the trauma he endured and was coping with all he
had forever lost, so he compensated by doing more, more, more than maybe he
would have otherwise.
Maybe it was RITUAL which kept Tobit focused enough to wake up each day.
Since he had been kidnapped, he could not make the ritual trips to the
Temple to perform in the ritual of alms giving.
BUT HE COULD still give, he could still worship, he could still give to
God the gifts of justice and kindness with his actions, even if he wasn’t very
humble.
Ritual may be what kept Tobit going.
Ritual is part of today’s story. Anna
and Tobit’s son Tobias has gone on a journey to collect some money. On the way he meets his 2nd cousins,
and he marries their daughter, Sarah.
But here’s the issue- Sarah’s been wed 7 times before; all 7 wedding
nights a demon has killed her groom.
What to do, what to do?
Well the common thing of course- Tobias sets fire to the insides of a fish
he caught and the demon runs away!
And before they can even kiss, Tobias has Sarah kneel on the floor. They pray to God for safety and mercy. He blesses the God of their ancestors, he recalls
the creation of Eve and Adam.
He asks for safety and mercy, he says he is about to make love not out of
lust but with sincerity.
Sarah and Tobias say “Amen, Amen,” and they go…to… ‘sleep’.
Later, Sarah’s father peeks into their room. When he sees them both snoring in bliss, he
calls his wife, he calls his servants and they make plans for a wedding
celebration.
Not just a regular celebration, but a 14 day event full of wine drinking,
bread eating, barbeque goodness with enough food to make Fe look stingy.
Everyone from town is invited and for 2 weeks there is music, merriment,
with no limit to the money spent.
It’s all joy, joy, joy…but remember who the people are, where they are,
and what they have went through.
Sarah’s parents, and most likely their friends and neighbors were also kidnapped
and far from home.
This wedding feast is most likely made up of stolen people and their
children.
So this wedding is more than just a wedding. It is a ‘ritual’. A ritual that allowed Sarah and her people to
remember who they really are and where they are from.
This wedding was a way to break the gloominess, sadness, and trauma of
what it meant to not be HOME.
This wedding would’ve featured the traditional sacred words, sacred
songs, traditional symbolizes that were used before long before being taken
away.
We read about this wedding and can respond to it as we might to coffee in
the morning or church on Sunday.
This marriage ceremony is not just about 2 people being wed, but a whole
community coming together to recall who they are, where they are from, and that
God is still present.
This is 1 way to look at what’s happening; the wedding, the wedding night prayer, Tobit’s
acts of charity-
They are ways in which the characters remind themselves and each other
that God is still present. They are ways
they remind themselves that hope is not lost.
Tobit can come across as self-righteous, but his reason for giving is to
remind himself that God is not dead.
Tobias and Sarah may pray so they can properly enjoy their wedding night,
but they’re also reminding themselves that the God of their ancestors is still
here.
Sarah’s family may spare no expense, stuffing everyone’s face with food,
but they are also making a public confessional that God is still alive.
For people who have lost a lot, who have endured trauma, for anyone who
has ever felt homeless and helpless, this announcement that God is still here,
and God is still acting is HUGE.
Therefore any ritual, any daily task that one can do to convey this,
embrace this, share this, is so, so important.
Friends and people of Emmanuel UCC- what are the rituals you do? What are the things you do on a daily or weekly
basis that give you comfort?
Know what they are- because they are also the very things that give you
life.
When there is comfort, when there is life, there is most certainly God.
We thank God
for the rituals that shape us,
the rituals that mold our day,
the rituals that mark the
passage of time,
because sometimes
those are the very rituals
that save our lives
and soothe our soul.
Thank God for our rituals, because within our rituals we can find God.
Amen and amen.
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